[He tries to pull away from the hand reaching for his. Scared. His hands are dangerous. What if he can't control them again? Even in a dream, he doesn't want to hurt Yoosung.]
I'll hurt you! Didn't you see what I did? Hear what I said?
[For now, Yoosung doesn't force that contact, not when the reaction is so strong. But he remains close, and pulls a handkerchief from nowhere (dream logic?) that he uses to try and wipe some of Katsuki's tears.]
Yeah... But I'm also seeing your reaction to it, wangjanim.
[Okay, so it's not a term often used outside of period K-dramas but it's sweet and romantic and Yoosung has already been calling Katsuki this in his own dreams, to be quite honest.]
You were also just a teenager, right? You're an adult now.
[Wangjanim? Katsuki lifts his head a little to stare at Yoosung. He reaches up and grabs Yoosung's wrist. Solid. He's solid, Katsuki realizes. His eyes lock on Yoosung's, surprised.]
Wangjanim? Wait. Are you...
[Something about the realization that this might actually be Yoosung in front of him is enough to jolt him awake. He sits bolt upright on the couch, in the dark. He sits there, replaying the dream in his head for a moment before scrambling off the couch and rushing to Yoosung's bedroom door to knock. If he were more coherent he might find the whole idea a little silly, really. But fresh from the dream all he can think is... what did he experience just now?]
[The way Katsuki suddenly stares at him is startling, and looking into his eyes has him starting to wonder too, because what he sees there feels very alive...
He doesn't get the chance to answer or ask any question of his own before he's essentially tossed out of the dream and into the waking world.
Yoosung blinks up at his dark ceiling several times before startling at the knocking on his door. He scrambles out of bed, turning on his galaxy projector since it's closer than his lamp. It casts less light but it does project moving stars all over the room. It's enough to see things by so he heads over to the door to open it, rubbing one of his eyes as he does.]
[It sounds crazy. Maybe he's losing his mind? Maybe he just really wanted someone to talk to him like that?
For Yoosung to talk to him like that?
But he's already asked the question, standing in Yoosung's doorway in the middle of the night. The only light on them from the star projector, giving the whole thing a surreal feeling.]
[That's. That's certainly a question. If it weren't for the last few seconds of that dream he'd think it was an accusation about, like, his feelings for Katsuki or something. As it is he does feel a second's surge of panic before he recalls and-- right. Right.]
Y.. yeah... Like we were in the same dream? Oh, um... come in...
[He moves out of the doorway and heads back to his bed to sit on it, motioning for Katsuki to follow him.]
Ah, do you want some water or...?
[Maybe this is a dumb time to ask but Yoosung seems to recall Nanny bringing him a glass of water when he woke up from a nightmare growing up?]
[That response is a relief. But leaves him with more questions than answers. He moves to sit beside Yoosung on the bed.]
I'm good.
[Maybe after they talk, he'll want some water. But right now his mind is racing. He has so many questions. What was that? How did they have a shared dream? Was it something Yoosung did?
[Yoosung nods, looking guilty, feeling guilty, even though...]
I didn't do it on purpose, I'm so sorry, I wasn't trying to intrude! I don't even... I don't even know how it happened! I don't think I've ever been in someone else's dream before...
[And he is assuming it was Katsuki's dream and not his own now just based on the contents of it, not to mention the fact that Katsuki was asleep before Yoosung was, so it would make more sense that way.]
[They can figure out what happened later. Right now he has something else he wants to discuss.]
It's... the other me. The one from my memories. I've seen him doing shit like that. Hurting people. Saying shit no one should say. Someone suggested we might be turning into these people from our memories. If that's true then...
But, like I said in the dream, he was younger than you... Just a teenager, you know? Like... I got bullied as a teenager but I wouldn't hold that against those people as adults?
[He's not sure this is helping. Part of him wishes he still thought this was just a dream and then he wouldn't be worrying so much about if he's saying the right thing or not. But really that wouldn't be any good either because it was still Katsuki even if he'd only thought it was dream version Katsuki.]
Yeah. He was just a kid. But kids grow into adults. If he stayed on that kind of path... I keep hurting people. I yelled at this girl last month. Just a kid. Because she defended the guy who caused that whole mess. I yelled at him too. And he was also just a kid.
[Actually, this now makes... four kids... that he's yelled at? He's feeling like he was the asshole...]
If I'm turning into him then it's only gonna get worse. What if there's nothing I can do to stop it?
Katsuki... Yelling doesn't make you a bad person...
[He scoots a little closer to him, if he'll allow it, looking at him with shiny eyes, unshed tears just because he's feeling a lot. His heart aches for him again. He wants to hold his hand. He also really wants to kiss him, but he wouldn't dare. Not just because he's afraid what would happen but it also doesn't feel like the right time, it doesn't feel like it would actually help Katsuki right now even if he did return his feelings.]
You might have some issues with anger or something but that's always something we can work on. And I think it says a lot that you're worried about this, you know? It's also never too late to apologize, if you feel badly about something you said or did.
[When Yoosung moves closer, Katsuki leans towards him a bit, unthinkingly. Instinctively. He wants to rest his head on Yoosung's shoulder. But he doesn't.
Something we can work on. He doesn't miss that. And he can't put words to how it makes him feel.
Never too late to apologize.
He's standing in the rain, across from someone he's hurt. Someone he's tried to break down. They're surrounded by mostly unfamiliar faces.
"I know it doesn't mean anything, telling you this. But... I'm sorry for everything I've done until this point."
The other boy, looking dead tired and beaten, stumbles forward. He's saying something Katsuki can't hear. But as he pitches forward, passing out, Katsuki is moving to catch him.
Katsuki inhales sharply. Surprised by the memory. By the remorse. The sincerity.
Maybe...
He swallows.
And drops his head against Yoosung's shoulder.]
You said something like that in the dream too. About my reaction.
[And called him something... what had he called him?]
[Ah... Had Katsuki remembered something? It would be the first time that's happened while Yoosung was with him. It's happened a few times for Yoosung, but not the other way around, as far as he knows.
Yoosung doesn't prod him about it, though. But he is a little surprised when Katsuki's head touches his shoulder. Surprised and so, so pleased. He leans his head against Katsuki's, and touches his hand with his own, just a few fingers draping over his.]
Maybe because... the world needs more kindness? And I wanna be one of those people who helps people who need it... [A pause, and he says more quietly, with a soft little laugh at the end:] But... Also because I just like you a whole lot, ehehe...
[They always end up like this. Close together. Touching. Holding hands. Talking about emotional shit. And now Yoosung is saying he likes him. And okay... that... doesn't mean he likes him that way. Katsuki knows that. But he lets Yoosung's fingers thread with his. Watching it.]
...like you a lot too.
[Katsuki, normally so loud, says this very softly.]
In the near-dark of the room, with the stars swirling around them in a fantastical, romantic kind of way... it's so easy to be like this, to drown in this sort of moment, speaking quiet confessions of feelings to one another, even if they may not necessarily be romantic ones. (Yoosung's are.)
Yoosung wants it to last forever. He sighs, a soft happy noise, against Katsuki's hair, before he whispers more.]
I'm really happy you do... And I hope you'll let me stay by you and help you be... Whatever kind of person you want to be. Because I wanna help you be that person, Katsuki.
[He doesn't know what to do with words like that. They make him feel stupidly warm all over and put a soft little ache in his heart.
It feels like a perfect moment.
He could make himself clearer. That the things he's been feeling are definitely more than friendship. That he wants to kiss him.
Maybe he could kiss him. Here in the dark, lit only by the star projector.
But he doesn't.
Yoosung is kind and warm and accepts him flaws and all. And he deserves the kind of person Katsuki can't claim to be yet. The kind of person he wants to be.]
Like I could ever get rid of you. So clingy.
[But as he says it, he squeezes Yoosung's hand. He doesn't mind.]
[He giggles at the teasing, clearly just pleased and not offended. He squeezes Katsuki's hand back.
Wanna be the kind of person you believe I can be.
Why is it those words hit so hard? It's almost like he's saying he wants to be better for him? But he's not really saying that, right? Yoosung's reading too much into it, hearing what he wants to hear in those words.
Oh, but it makes him blush harder, heart still racing. He nuzzles his nose into Katsuki's hair, so tempted to drop a kiss there.]
You'd never have to change for me, you know. I'll be here no matter what. Like you said, you can't get rid of me~~
[He sing-songs that last bit before speaking seriously again. Serious, but soft, and sweet.]
But... But if you feel you need to change for you, I'll help, like I said. Just don't change for me because I like you anyway. And any way that you are.
[There he goes again, talking like this is something he wants to tackle together. Katsuki really doesn't know how to adress it. He's grateful and it boosts that dumb pleasant feeling in his chest. But how do you respond to something like that?]
I think it's probably something I gotta work on myself. But it helps having someone who believes in me.
[That's important, really. He doesn't have very many close friends. He can count on one hand the people he both likes and trusts... Yoosung has rolled himself right through Katsuki's defenses here...]
Should probably try to get some more sleep for now.
[Not that he wants to move. He's comfortable and content here. But it's late and... well... for the moment he doesn't think there's anything else to say.]
Sometimes helping just means cheerleading, and we know I can do that too, hehe.
[Katsuki can probably feel Yoosung's head move against his as he nods, waiting another moment before reluctantly pulling his head away. He gives Katsuki's hand one more squeeze though, even going so far as to rub the side of his hand with his thumb affectionately before he removes his hand altogether.]
Um. I'll try not to intrude on your dreams, but... I don't really know how to control it, so...
[He's relieved he hasn't asked him about the pet name he called him in the dream.]
[He does look the term up on his phone. Laying on the couch in the dark. And that just kind of sits on his mind for a while. Leaving him laying there staring at the ceiling for a while.
He does eventually fall asleep. And it's an uneventful night after that. But the morning greets him harshly as he rolls over and smacks his face into something hard. Waking up he finds the culprit to be a boot. Shoved into his pillow case is an outfit he finds familiar from his memories. Everything except the gauntlets that are currently sitting in his dorm room. He found those last month.
He can't help but be curious and he gathers everything up, stepping into Yoosung's bathroom to try it on. He steps out in the full costume just as Yoosung is exiting his bedroom.
[Being told "Sweet dreams, Bright Eyes" by Katsuki is a 100% guarantee to, in fact, give Yoosung sweet dreams.
If Katsuki looks the term up, he's likely to mostly get search results saying it's mainly used nowadays in things like period K-dramas, but at least he'll know now that it means "Prince."
When Katsuki wakes up, he may actually have to wrestle a shiny part of his costume away from Rika, but she gives it up fairly easily and afterward pretends as if she never wanted it in the first place, thank you very much, with a very huffy attitude.
When Yoosung wakes up... He's greeted outside his bedroom door with a vision before him that makes his face flare red. Mainly... How strong Katsuki's arms look in that costume. He's so hot, how is this fair? And he's just standing in front of him? And Yoosung's in a silly T-shirt and jeans?]
Ah... Um... G... Good morning? What... What are you... What's...? Gah...
[He's gonna swallow his fucking tongue, omg.
He flails his hands at Katsuki to indicate what he's wearing before he covers his red cheeks with those same hands. Staring. Looking. Checking him out. Respectfully!!]
[Yoosung calling him 'Prince' and now checking him out... Katsuki is definitely starting to suspect Yoosung might be attracted to him. Which at least is encouraging?
Unfortunately for Yoosung, that reaction gets him moving closer and he raises his arms to the doorframe, leaning forward to grin at Yoosung. The boots give him an extra inch. But god do they make him feel so much taller? The costume in general makes him feel confident. Like he can do anything.]
Like it? Found it in my pillow case this morning. Rika wanted this shoulder thing. It's a little ridiculous just seeing the pieces. But I think it suits me.
[Maybe they've only got a handful of inches of height difference between them, but Yoosung definitely feels smaller and more vulnerable with Katsuki in that outfit and blocking him in by leaning on the doorframe the way he is. And that's.... a surprisingly very nice feeling. Like it wouldn't be, all the time, around just anyone, but safe at home and around Katsuki? Yeah, absolutely.
...is this another part of that whole masochistic thing again? Yoosung is starting to suspect so.
He looks into Katsuki's face, breath caught, then drops his gaze as he carefully, curiously places a hand on his chest.]
Yeah, it... It suits you... Um...
[He clears his throat, offers a smile.]
S-so it really just showed up, huh? Amazing how... Things do that...
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[He tries to pull away from the hand reaching for his. Scared. His hands are dangerous. What if he can't control them again? Even in a dream, he doesn't want to hurt Yoosung.]
I'll hurt you! Didn't you see what I did? Hear what I said?
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Yeah... But I'm also seeing your reaction to it, wangjanim.
[Okay, so it's not a term often used outside of period K-dramas but it's sweet and romantic and Yoosung has already been calling Katsuki this in his own dreams, to be quite honest.]
You were also just a teenager, right? You're an adult now.
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Wangjanim? Wait. Are you...
[Something about the realization that this might actually be Yoosung in front of him is enough to jolt him awake. He sits bolt upright on the couch, in the dark. He sits there, replaying the dream in his head for a moment before scrambling off the couch and rushing to Yoosung's bedroom door to knock. If he were more coherent he might find the whole idea a little silly, really. But fresh from the dream all he can think is... what did he experience just now?]
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He doesn't get the chance to answer or ask any question of his own before he's essentially tossed out of the dream and into the waking world.
Yoosung blinks up at his dark ceiling several times before startling at the knocking on his door. He scrambles out of bed, turning on his galaxy projector since it's closer than his lamp. It casts less light but it does project moving stars all over the room. It's enough to see things by so he heads over to the door to open it, rubbing one of his eyes as he does.]
Katsuki...?
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[It sounds crazy. Maybe he's losing his mind? Maybe he just really wanted someone to talk to him like that?
For Yoosung to talk to him like that?
But he's already asked the question, standing in Yoosung's doorway in the middle of the night. The only light on them from the star projector, giving the whole thing a surreal feeling.]
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Y.. yeah... Like we were in the same dream? Oh, um... come in...
[He moves out of the doorway and heads back to his bed to sit on it, motioning for Katsuki to follow him.]
Ah, do you want some water or...?
[Maybe this is a dumb time to ask but Yoosung seems to recall Nanny bringing him a glass of water when he woke up from a nightmare growing up?]
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I'm good.
[Maybe after they talk, he'll want some water. But right now his mind is racing. He has so many questions. What was that? How did they have a shared dream? Was it something Yoosung did?
But the first thing he asks...]
Do you remember what you saw in there?
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I didn't do it on purpose, I'm so sorry, I wasn't trying to intrude! I don't even... I don't even know how it happened! I don't think I've ever been in someone else's dream before...
[And he is assuming it was Katsuki's dream and not his own now just based on the contents of it, not to mention the fact that Katsuki was asleep before Yoosung was, so it would make more sense that way.]
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[They can figure out what happened later. Right now he has something else he wants to discuss.]
It's... the other me. The one from my memories. I've seen him doing shit like that. Hurting people. Saying shit no one should say. Someone suggested we might be turning into these people from our memories. If that's true then...
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[He's not sure this is helping. Part of him wishes he still thought this was just a dream and then he wouldn't be worrying so much about if he's saying the right thing or not. But really that wouldn't be any good either because it was still Katsuki even if he'd only thought it was dream version Katsuki.]
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[Actually, this now makes... four kids... that he's yelled at? He's feeling like he was the asshole...]
If I'm turning into him then it's only gonna get worse. What if there's nothing I can do to stop it?
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[He scoots a little closer to him, if he'll allow it, looking at him with shiny eyes, unshed tears just because he's feeling a lot. His heart aches for him again. He wants to hold his hand. He also really wants to kiss him, but he wouldn't dare. Not just because he's afraid what would happen but it also doesn't feel like the right time, it doesn't feel like it would actually help Katsuki right now even if he did return his feelings.]
You might have some issues with anger or something but that's always something we can work on. And I think it says a lot that you're worried about this, you know? It's also never too late to apologize, if you feel badly about something you said or did.
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Something we can work on. He doesn't miss that. And he can't put words to how it makes him feel.
Never too late to apologize.
He's standing in the rain, across from someone he's hurt. Someone he's tried to break down. They're surrounded by mostly unfamiliar faces.
"I know it doesn't mean anything, telling you this. But... I'm sorry for everything I've done until this point."
The other boy, looking dead tired and beaten, stumbles forward. He's saying something Katsuki can't hear. But as he pitches forward, passing out, Katsuki is moving to catch him.
Katsuki inhales sharply. Surprised by the memory. By the remorse. The sincerity.
Maybe...
He swallows.
And drops his head against Yoosung's shoulder.]
You said something like that in the dream too. About my reaction.
[And called him something... what had he called him?]
How the hell are you always so nice?
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Yoosung doesn't prod him about it, though. But he is a little surprised when Katsuki's head touches his shoulder. Surprised and so, so pleased. He leans his head against Katsuki's, and touches his hand with his own, just a few fingers draping over his.]
Maybe because... the world needs more kindness? And I wanna be one of those people who helps people who need it... [A pause, and he says more quietly, with a soft little laugh at the end:] But... Also because I just like you a whole lot, ehehe...
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...like you a lot too.
[Katsuki, normally so loud, says this very softly.]
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In the near-dark of the room, with the stars swirling around them in a fantastical, romantic kind of way... it's so easy to be like this, to drown in this sort of moment, speaking quiet confessions of feelings to one another, even if they may not necessarily be romantic ones. (Yoosung's are.)
Yoosung wants it to last forever. He sighs, a soft happy noise, against Katsuki's hair, before he whispers more.]
I'm really happy you do... And I hope you'll let me stay by you and help you be... Whatever kind of person you want to be. Because I wanna help you be that person, Katsuki.
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It feels like a perfect moment.
He could make himself clearer. That the things he's been feeling are definitely more than friendship. That he wants to kiss him.
Maybe he could kiss him. Here in the dark, lit only by the star projector.
But he doesn't.
Yoosung is kind and warm and accepts him flaws and all. And he deserves the kind of person Katsuki can't claim to be yet. The kind of person he wants to be.]
Like I could ever get rid of you. So clingy.
[But as he says it, he squeezes Yoosung's hand. He doesn't mind.]
Wanna be the kind of person you believe I can be.
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Wanna be the kind of person you believe I can be.
Why is it those words hit so hard? It's almost like he's saying he wants to be better for him? But he's not really saying that, right? Yoosung's reading too much into it, hearing what he wants to hear in those words.
Oh, but it makes him blush harder, heart still racing. He nuzzles his nose into Katsuki's hair, so tempted to drop a kiss there.]
You'd never have to change for me, you know. I'll be here no matter what. Like you said, you can't get rid of me~~
[He sing-songs that last bit before speaking seriously again. Serious, but soft, and sweet.]
But... But if you feel you need to change for you, I'll help, like I said. Just don't change for me because I like you anyway. And any way that you are.
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I think it's probably something I gotta work on myself. But it helps having someone who believes in me.
[That's important, really. He doesn't have very many close friends. He can count on one hand the people he both likes and trusts... Yoosung has rolled himself right through Katsuki's defenses here...]
Should probably try to get some more sleep for now.
[Not that he wants to move. He's comfortable and content here. But it's late and... well... for the moment he doesn't think there's anything else to say.]
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[Katsuki can probably feel Yoosung's head move against his as he nods, waiting another moment before reluctantly pulling his head away. He gives Katsuki's hand one more squeeze though, even going so far as to rub the side of his hand with his thumb affectionately before he removes his hand altogether.]
Um. I'll try not to intrude on your dreams, but... I don't really know how to control it, so...
[He's relieved he hasn't asked him about the pet name he called him in the dream.]
1/2
[Also don't get relieved Yoosung. He didn't forget. He'll be looking it up.
For now he reluctantly gets up.]
Sweet dreams, Bright Eyes.
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He does eventually fall asleep. And it's an uneventful night after that. But the morning greets him harshly as he rolls over and smacks his face into something hard. Waking up he finds the culprit to be a boot. Shoved into his pillow case is an outfit he finds familiar from his memories. Everything except the gauntlets that are currently sitting in his dorm room. He found those last month.
He can't help but be curious and he gathers everything up, stepping into Yoosung's bathroom to try it on. He steps out in the full costume just as Yoosung is exiting his bedroom.
Good morning?]
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If Katsuki looks the term up, he's likely to mostly get search results saying it's mainly used nowadays in things like period K-dramas, but at least he'll know now that it means "Prince."
When Katsuki wakes up, he may actually have to wrestle a shiny part of his costume away from Rika, but she gives it up fairly easily and afterward pretends as if she never wanted it in the first place, thank you very much, with a very huffy attitude.
When Yoosung wakes up... He's greeted outside his bedroom door with a vision before him that makes his face flare red. Mainly... How strong Katsuki's arms look in that costume. He's so hot, how is this fair? And he's just standing in front of him? And Yoosung's in a silly T-shirt and jeans?]
Ah... Um... G... Good morning? What... What are you... What's...? Gah...
[He's gonna swallow his fucking tongue, omg.
He flails his hands at Katsuki to indicate what he's wearing before he covers his red cheeks with those same hands. Staring. Looking. Checking him out. Respectfully!!]
Wow.
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Unfortunately for Yoosung, that reaction gets him moving closer and he raises his arms to the doorframe, leaning forward to grin at Yoosung. The boots give him an extra inch. But god do they make him feel so much taller? The costume in general makes him feel confident. Like he can do anything.]
Like it? Found it in my pillow case this morning. Rika wanted this shoulder thing. It's a little ridiculous just seeing the pieces. But I think it suits me.
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...is this another part of that whole masochistic thing again? Yoosung is starting to suspect so.
He looks into Katsuki's face, breath caught, then drops his gaze as he carefully, curiously places a hand on his chest.]
Yeah, it... It suits you... Um...
[He clears his throat, offers a smile.]
S-so it really just showed up, huh? Amazing how... Things do that...
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cw self-harm thoughts???? Yoosung's a dumbass I'm sorry
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Cw: talk of reckless behavior and a near-stabbing
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