But, like I said in the dream, he was younger than you... Just a teenager, you know? Like... I got bullied as a teenager but I wouldn't hold that against those people as adults?
[He's not sure this is helping. Part of him wishes he still thought this was just a dream and then he wouldn't be worrying so much about if he's saying the right thing or not. But really that wouldn't be any good either because it was still Katsuki even if he'd only thought it was dream version Katsuki.]
Yeah. He was just a kid. But kids grow into adults. If he stayed on that kind of path... I keep hurting people. I yelled at this girl last month. Just a kid. Because she defended the guy who caused that whole mess. I yelled at him too. And he was also just a kid.
[Actually, this now makes... four kids... that he's yelled at? He's feeling like he was the asshole...]
If I'm turning into him then it's only gonna get worse. What if there's nothing I can do to stop it?
Katsuki... Yelling doesn't make you a bad person...
[He scoots a little closer to him, if he'll allow it, looking at him with shiny eyes, unshed tears just because he's feeling a lot. His heart aches for him again. He wants to hold his hand. He also really wants to kiss him, but he wouldn't dare. Not just because he's afraid what would happen but it also doesn't feel like the right time, it doesn't feel like it would actually help Katsuki right now even if he did return his feelings.]
You might have some issues with anger or something but that's always something we can work on. And I think it says a lot that you're worried about this, you know? It's also never too late to apologize, if you feel badly about something you said or did.
[When Yoosung moves closer, Katsuki leans towards him a bit, unthinkingly. Instinctively. He wants to rest his head on Yoosung's shoulder. But he doesn't.
Something we can work on. He doesn't miss that. And he can't put words to how it makes him feel.
Never too late to apologize.
He's standing in the rain, across from someone he's hurt. Someone he's tried to break down. They're surrounded by mostly unfamiliar faces.
"I know it doesn't mean anything, telling you this. But... I'm sorry for everything I've done until this point."
The other boy, looking dead tired and beaten, stumbles forward. He's saying something Katsuki can't hear. But as he pitches forward, passing out, Katsuki is moving to catch him.
Katsuki inhales sharply. Surprised by the memory. By the remorse. The sincerity.
Maybe...
He swallows.
And drops his head against Yoosung's shoulder.]
You said something like that in the dream too. About my reaction.
[And called him something... what had he called him?]
[Ah... Had Katsuki remembered something? It would be the first time that's happened while Yoosung was with him. It's happened a few times for Yoosung, but not the other way around, as far as he knows.
Yoosung doesn't prod him about it, though. But he is a little surprised when Katsuki's head touches his shoulder. Surprised and so, so pleased. He leans his head against Katsuki's, and touches his hand with his own, just a few fingers draping over his.]
Maybe because... the world needs more kindness? And I wanna be one of those people who helps people who need it... [A pause, and he says more quietly, with a soft little laugh at the end:] But... Also because I just like you a whole lot, ehehe...
[They always end up like this. Close together. Touching. Holding hands. Talking about emotional shit. And now Yoosung is saying he likes him. And okay... that... doesn't mean he likes him that way. Katsuki knows that. But he lets Yoosung's fingers thread with his. Watching it.]
...like you a lot too.
[Katsuki, normally so loud, says this very softly.]
In the near-dark of the room, with the stars swirling around them in a fantastical, romantic kind of way... it's so easy to be like this, to drown in this sort of moment, speaking quiet confessions of feelings to one another, even if they may not necessarily be romantic ones. (Yoosung's are.)
Yoosung wants it to last forever. He sighs, a soft happy noise, against Katsuki's hair, before he whispers more.]
I'm really happy you do... And I hope you'll let me stay by you and help you be... Whatever kind of person you want to be. Because I wanna help you be that person, Katsuki.
[He doesn't know what to do with words like that. They make him feel stupidly warm all over and put a soft little ache in his heart.
It feels like a perfect moment.
He could make himself clearer. That the things he's been feeling are definitely more than friendship. That he wants to kiss him.
Maybe he could kiss him. Here in the dark, lit only by the star projector.
But he doesn't.
Yoosung is kind and warm and accepts him flaws and all. And he deserves the kind of person Katsuki can't claim to be yet. The kind of person he wants to be.]
Like I could ever get rid of you. So clingy.
[But as he says it, he squeezes Yoosung's hand. He doesn't mind.]
[He giggles at the teasing, clearly just pleased and not offended. He squeezes Katsuki's hand back.
Wanna be the kind of person you believe I can be.
Why is it those words hit so hard? It's almost like he's saying he wants to be better for him? But he's not really saying that, right? Yoosung's reading too much into it, hearing what he wants to hear in those words.
Oh, but it makes him blush harder, heart still racing. He nuzzles his nose into Katsuki's hair, so tempted to drop a kiss there.]
You'd never have to change for me, you know. I'll be here no matter what. Like you said, you can't get rid of me~~
[He sing-songs that last bit before speaking seriously again. Serious, but soft, and sweet.]
But... But if you feel you need to change for you, I'll help, like I said. Just don't change for me because I like you anyway. And any way that you are.
[There he goes again, talking like this is something he wants to tackle together. Katsuki really doesn't know how to adress it. He's grateful and it boosts that dumb pleasant feeling in his chest. But how do you respond to something like that?]
I think it's probably something I gotta work on myself. But it helps having someone who believes in me.
[That's important, really. He doesn't have very many close friends. He can count on one hand the people he both likes and trusts... Yoosung has rolled himself right through Katsuki's defenses here...]
Should probably try to get some more sleep for now.
[Not that he wants to move. He's comfortable and content here. But it's late and... well... for the moment he doesn't think there's anything else to say.]
Sometimes helping just means cheerleading, and we know I can do that too, hehe.
[Katsuki can probably feel Yoosung's head move against his as he nods, waiting another moment before reluctantly pulling his head away. He gives Katsuki's hand one more squeeze though, even going so far as to rub the side of his hand with his thumb affectionately before he removes his hand altogether.]
Um. I'll try not to intrude on your dreams, but... I don't really know how to control it, so...
[He's relieved he hasn't asked him about the pet name he called him in the dream.]
[He does look the term up on his phone. Laying on the couch in the dark. And that just kind of sits on his mind for a while. Leaving him laying there staring at the ceiling for a while.
He does eventually fall asleep. And it's an uneventful night after that. But the morning greets him harshly as he rolls over and smacks his face into something hard. Waking up he finds the culprit to be a boot. Shoved into his pillow case is an outfit he finds familiar from his memories. Everything except the gauntlets that are currently sitting in his dorm room. He found those last month.
He can't help but be curious and he gathers everything up, stepping into Yoosung's bathroom to try it on. He steps out in the full costume just as Yoosung is exiting his bedroom.
[Being told "Sweet dreams, Bright Eyes" by Katsuki is a 100% guarantee to, in fact, give Yoosung sweet dreams.
If Katsuki looks the term up, he's likely to mostly get search results saying it's mainly used nowadays in things like period K-dramas, but at least he'll know now that it means "Prince."
When Katsuki wakes up, he may actually have to wrestle a shiny part of his costume away from Rika, but she gives it up fairly easily and afterward pretends as if she never wanted it in the first place, thank you very much, with a very huffy attitude.
When Yoosung wakes up... He's greeted outside his bedroom door with a vision before him that makes his face flare red. Mainly... How strong Katsuki's arms look in that costume. He's so hot, how is this fair? And he's just standing in front of him? And Yoosung's in a silly T-shirt and jeans?]
Ah... Um... G... Good morning? What... What are you... What's...? Gah...
[He's gonna swallow his fucking tongue, omg.
He flails his hands at Katsuki to indicate what he's wearing before he covers his red cheeks with those same hands. Staring. Looking. Checking him out. Respectfully!!]
[Yoosung calling him 'Prince' and now checking him out... Katsuki is definitely starting to suspect Yoosung might be attracted to him. Which at least is encouraging?
Unfortunately for Yoosung, that reaction gets him moving closer and he raises his arms to the doorframe, leaning forward to grin at Yoosung. The boots give him an extra inch. But god do they make him feel so much taller? The costume in general makes him feel confident. Like he can do anything.]
Like it? Found it in my pillow case this morning. Rika wanted this shoulder thing. It's a little ridiculous just seeing the pieces. But I think it suits me.
[Maybe they've only got a handful of inches of height difference between them, but Yoosung definitely feels smaller and more vulnerable with Katsuki in that outfit and blocking him in by leaning on the doorframe the way he is. And that's.... a surprisingly very nice feeling. Like it wouldn't be, all the time, around just anyone, but safe at home and around Katsuki? Yeah, absolutely.
...is this another part of that whole masochistic thing again? Yoosung is starting to suspect so.
He looks into Katsuki's face, breath caught, then drops his gaze as he carefully, curiously places a hand on his chest.]
Yeah, it... It suits you... Um...
[He clears his throat, offers a smile.]
S-so it really just showed up, huh? Amazing how... Things do that...
[Unlike the first time Yoosung touched his chest, Katsuki isn't confused. He doesn't even glance at it. Just revels in the point of contact.]
As far as I can figure out, the other me comes from a world of people with super powers. Everyone is always wearing shit like this too. So maybe super heroes and villains?
[He has... the wrong idea of where he fell on that. But...]
Just watch me, Bright Eyes. I'm gonna use this strength of mine the right way from here on out.
[Hearing this, Yoosung's eyes widen, and they're sparkly with awe and admiration. Unlike Katsuki, Yoosung has exactly the right idea of where Katsuki fell on that, and he doesn't doubt it for a second.]
Ah... It's your superhero costume!! God, Katsuki, that's... So cool. Can't believe I'm friends with a real superhero, ehehe...
[He bites his lip, biting back the urge to say "I'll watch you whenever you want," and trails his fingers up Katsuki's chest to touch the shiny neck/shoulder piece curiously.]
Wonder what this bit was for...?
[He's getting light-headed being in close proximity with Katsuki like this, but he really doesn't mind. It's a nice feeling. Especially when he has an excuse to touch him like this on account of examining the costume, trailing his fingers over different parts of it.]
[Katsuki doesn't voice what he thinks about the hero or villain thing. Why does it matter? He knows where he wants to fall on that scale here and now. And he likes the way Yoosung is looking at him. Likes having him check out the costume. Fingers trailing up his chest.]
Could just be a decorative thing. Like these?
[He reaches up to touch one of the explosion shaped pieces on the back of his head.]
Although I guess they could also be weapons? They're sharp for some reason.
[Oh. Okay. This is flirting, right? This is definitely flirting. Katsuki is still leaning in the doorway. They're close again. Yoosung keeps touching him. Talking like that.
Katsuki is winging it. He lowers one hand from the doorframe, hooks a finger into the collar of Yoosung's shirt, giving a light tug. Calling attention to the words on it.]
[Oh... Oh no. He may have messed this up. He has no real idea what he's doing here. Had Katsuki been flirting with him? The look on his face just now seemed to suggest he had been and Yoosung put an end to it by stupidly shouting in his face about breakfast.
He takes a hesitant step forward as Katsuki takes a step back, but ultimately nods his head dumbly and watches him return to the bathroom to change.
Biting his nail, Yoosung takes his ARCUS and heads to the living room.
He wants to call Rhel or Nanny and ask what to do, for advice, but they acted more like they could only listen, so... Maybe... Maybe posting to the Libra app? Is it too close to that horrible Zodiac post? Would it seem insensitive? But it had been a week and they all have to go on living their lives...
Okay. Okay he'll do it. This is an emergency anyway! He might really screw this up and Katsuki is his closest friend! He doesn't want to wreck this!
He sits on the couch to begin typing an anonymous message onto the network, pulling the blanket Katsuki had slept under onto his lap.]
[Katsuki takes his time changing out of the costume. Giving himself a little bit of time to run what just happened through his head.
Did he read too much into the way Yoosung acts? He's so bad at this...
Once he's changed he sits on the edge of the tub, fiddling with his phone as he thinks on if there's anyone he could talk to about this. Instead he goes to google and types in 'how to tell if someone likes you as more than a friend?'
He sits and scrolls for a bit through lists that don't help at all. Touching? Smiling? Laughing Seriously? Yeah, Yoosung's done all of that, but so had his first crush and that... had not been what he thought at all.
He's about to put his phone away when he sees a new notification on Libra. A new post. Maybe someone new has joined and he can distract himself for a minute? He opens it up, eyes widening a bit. A how do you know if someone is flirting post!
He hesitates a moment before opening it to give it a look. He scans a few answers but most seem to be advice on how to flirt back. Then he reaches one by user "Beekeeper".
Praise. Compliments. Gentle touches to the face and hands. He thinks of that moment in his dream. Yoosung wiping his tears. And calling him prince. Of Yoosung always taking his hand. Of all the praise and compliments Yoosung heaps on him.
Maybe... he just came on too strong and made Yoosung nervous? Or maybe Yoosung hadn't expected him to flirt back?? Whatever the case... Katsuki really likes him. So...
Mind made up, he pockets his phone, gathers the pieces to his costume and steps out of the bathroom. He moves to sit it on the coffee table, placing the boots on the floor beside it.]
Ever had omurice?
[He doesn't know how to do this. But he's nothing if not determined? If he's gonna do something, he's gonna give it one-hundred percent. If Yoosung doesn't like him back, then Katsuki just... needs to give his all to try to change that.]
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[He's not sure this is helping. Part of him wishes he still thought this was just a dream and then he wouldn't be worrying so much about if he's saying the right thing or not. But really that wouldn't be any good either because it was still Katsuki even if he'd only thought it was dream version Katsuki.]
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[Actually, this now makes... four kids... that he's yelled at? He's feeling like he was the asshole...]
If I'm turning into him then it's only gonna get worse. What if there's nothing I can do to stop it?
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[He scoots a little closer to him, if he'll allow it, looking at him with shiny eyes, unshed tears just because he's feeling a lot. His heart aches for him again. He wants to hold his hand. He also really wants to kiss him, but he wouldn't dare. Not just because he's afraid what would happen but it also doesn't feel like the right time, it doesn't feel like it would actually help Katsuki right now even if he did return his feelings.]
You might have some issues with anger or something but that's always something we can work on. And I think it says a lot that you're worried about this, you know? It's also never too late to apologize, if you feel badly about something you said or did.
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Something we can work on. He doesn't miss that. And he can't put words to how it makes him feel.
Never too late to apologize.
He's standing in the rain, across from someone he's hurt. Someone he's tried to break down. They're surrounded by mostly unfamiliar faces.
"I know it doesn't mean anything, telling you this. But... I'm sorry for everything I've done until this point."
The other boy, looking dead tired and beaten, stumbles forward. He's saying something Katsuki can't hear. But as he pitches forward, passing out, Katsuki is moving to catch him.
Katsuki inhales sharply. Surprised by the memory. By the remorse. The sincerity.
Maybe...
He swallows.
And drops his head against Yoosung's shoulder.]
You said something like that in the dream too. About my reaction.
[And called him something... what had he called him?]
How the hell are you always so nice?
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Yoosung doesn't prod him about it, though. But he is a little surprised when Katsuki's head touches his shoulder. Surprised and so, so pleased. He leans his head against Katsuki's, and touches his hand with his own, just a few fingers draping over his.]
Maybe because... the world needs more kindness? And I wanna be one of those people who helps people who need it... [A pause, and he says more quietly, with a soft little laugh at the end:] But... Also because I just like you a whole lot, ehehe...
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...like you a lot too.
[Katsuki, normally so loud, says this very softly.]
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In the near-dark of the room, with the stars swirling around them in a fantastical, romantic kind of way... it's so easy to be like this, to drown in this sort of moment, speaking quiet confessions of feelings to one another, even if they may not necessarily be romantic ones. (Yoosung's are.)
Yoosung wants it to last forever. He sighs, a soft happy noise, against Katsuki's hair, before he whispers more.]
I'm really happy you do... And I hope you'll let me stay by you and help you be... Whatever kind of person you want to be. Because I wanna help you be that person, Katsuki.
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It feels like a perfect moment.
He could make himself clearer. That the things he's been feeling are definitely more than friendship. That he wants to kiss him.
Maybe he could kiss him. Here in the dark, lit only by the star projector.
But he doesn't.
Yoosung is kind and warm and accepts him flaws and all. And he deserves the kind of person Katsuki can't claim to be yet. The kind of person he wants to be.]
Like I could ever get rid of you. So clingy.
[But as he says it, he squeezes Yoosung's hand. He doesn't mind.]
Wanna be the kind of person you believe I can be.
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Wanna be the kind of person you believe I can be.
Why is it those words hit so hard? It's almost like he's saying he wants to be better for him? But he's not really saying that, right? Yoosung's reading too much into it, hearing what he wants to hear in those words.
Oh, but it makes him blush harder, heart still racing. He nuzzles his nose into Katsuki's hair, so tempted to drop a kiss there.]
You'd never have to change for me, you know. I'll be here no matter what. Like you said, you can't get rid of me~~
[He sing-songs that last bit before speaking seriously again. Serious, but soft, and sweet.]
But... But if you feel you need to change for you, I'll help, like I said. Just don't change for me because I like you anyway. And any way that you are.
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I think it's probably something I gotta work on myself. But it helps having someone who believes in me.
[That's important, really. He doesn't have very many close friends. He can count on one hand the people he both likes and trusts... Yoosung has rolled himself right through Katsuki's defenses here...]
Should probably try to get some more sleep for now.
[Not that he wants to move. He's comfortable and content here. But it's late and... well... for the moment he doesn't think there's anything else to say.]
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[Katsuki can probably feel Yoosung's head move against his as he nods, waiting another moment before reluctantly pulling his head away. He gives Katsuki's hand one more squeeze though, even going so far as to rub the side of his hand with his thumb affectionately before he removes his hand altogether.]
Um. I'll try not to intrude on your dreams, but... I don't really know how to control it, so...
[He's relieved he hasn't asked him about the pet name he called him in the dream.]
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[Also don't get relieved Yoosung. He didn't forget. He'll be looking it up.
For now he reluctantly gets up.]
Sweet dreams, Bright Eyes.
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He does eventually fall asleep. And it's an uneventful night after that. But the morning greets him harshly as he rolls over and smacks his face into something hard. Waking up he finds the culprit to be a boot. Shoved into his pillow case is an outfit he finds familiar from his memories. Everything except the gauntlets that are currently sitting in his dorm room. He found those last month.
He can't help but be curious and he gathers everything up, stepping into Yoosung's bathroom to try it on. He steps out in the full costume just as Yoosung is exiting his bedroom.
Good morning?]
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If Katsuki looks the term up, he's likely to mostly get search results saying it's mainly used nowadays in things like period K-dramas, but at least he'll know now that it means "Prince."
When Katsuki wakes up, he may actually have to wrestle a shiny part of his costume away from Rika, but she gives it up fairly easily and afterward pretends as if she never wanted it in the first place, thank you very much, with a very huffy attitude.
When Yoosung wakes up... He's greeted outside his bedroom door with a vision before him that makes his face flare red. Mainly... How strong Katsuki's arms look in that costume. He's so hot, how is this fair? And he's just standing in front of him? And Yoosung's in a silly T-shirt and jeans?]
Ah... Um... G... Good morning? What... What are you... What's...? Gah...
[He's gonna swallow his fucking tongue, omg.
He flails his hands at Katsuki to indicate what he's wearing before he covers his red cheeks with those same hands. Staring. Looking. Checking him out. Respectfully!!]
Wow.
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Unfortunately for Yoosung, that reaction gets him moving closer and he raises his arms to the doorframe, leaning forward to grin at Yoosung. The boots give him an extra inch. But god do they make him feel so much taller? The costume in general makes him feel confident. Like he can do anything.]
Like it? Found it in my pillow case this morning. Rika wanted this shoulder thing. It's a little ridiculous just seeing the pieces. But I think it suits me.
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...is this another part of that whole masochistic thing again? Yoosung is starting to suspect so.
He looks into Katsuki's face, breath caught, then drops his gaze as he carefully, curiously places a hand on his chest.]
Yeah, it... It suits you... Um...
[He clears his throat, offers a smile.]
S-so it really just showed up, huh? Amazing how... Things do that...
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As far as I can figure out, the other me comes from a world of people with super powers. Everyone is always wearing shit like this too. So maybe super heroes and villains?
[He has... the wrong idea of where he fell on that. But...]
Just watch me, Bright Eyes. I'm gonna use this strength of mine the right way from here on out.
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Ah... It's your superhero costume!! God, Katsuki, that's... So cool. Can't believe I'm friends with a real superhero, ehehe...
[He bites his lip, biting back the urge to say "I'll watch you whenever you want," and trails his fingers up Katsuki's chest to touch the shiny neck/shoulder piece curiously.]
Wonder what this bit was for...?
[He's getting light-headed being in close proximity with Katsuki like this, but he really doesn't mind. It's a nice feeling. Especially when he has an excuse to touch him like this on account of examining the costume, trailing his fingers over different parts of it.]
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Could just be a decorative thing. Like these?
[He reaches up to touch one of the explosion shaped pieces on the back of his head.]
Although I guess they could also be weapons? They're sharp for some reason.
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Ah, maybe... Gosh, you're like a walking weapon in this, huh?
[There's still awe in his voice when he says it, like it's just the coolest thing.]
Even the boots, the... The knee... Things?
[He doesn't know what to call them. They're certainly not pads. Armor? Plates? Guards?]
Feel like I should put the cheerleader outfit back on and be your encouraging sidekick, or your biggest fan~
[Is this flirting? It's funny how he's just saying these things he's feeling in a cute voice and only realizing after he does it that it's flirting.]
Would you sign an autograph if I asked nicely~?
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Katsuki is winging it. He lowers one hand from the doorframe, hooks a finger into the collar of Yoosung's shirt, giving a light tug. Calling attention to the words on it.]
Would an autograph motivate you?
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Is he... Flirting back with him? Or just teasing him for fun? How is he supposed to be able to tell the difference?]
Unless... Unless you have any other treats you wanna give me?
[Ah... That sounds so forward!! What is he doing! Go back, go back!!
Yoosung's eyes widen immediately after he asks it, looking very embarrassed and uncertain.]
L-like breakfast!! We could eat breakfast!!
[Yoosung stop shouting.]
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Did... did he come on too strong? Say something weird? Yoosung seemed into it but he sure backtracked fast.
Katsuki steps back.]
Yeah. Sure. Let me go change.
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He takes a hesitant step forward as Katsuki takes a step back, but ultimately nods his head dumbly and watches him return to the bathroom to change.
Biting his nail, Yoosung takes his ARCUS and heads to the living room.
He wants to call Rhel or Nanny and ask what to do, for advice, but they acted more like they could only listen, so... Maybe... Maybe posting to the Libra app? Is it too close to that horrible Zodiac post? Would it seem insensitive? But it had been a week and they all have to go on living their lives...
Okay. Okay he'll do it. This is an emergency anyway! He might really screw this up and Katsuki is his closest friend! He doesn't want to wreck this!
He sits on the couch to begin typing an anonymous message onto the network, pulling the blanket Katsuki had slept under onto his lap.]
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Did he read too much into the way Yoosung acts? He's so bad at this...
Once he's changed he sits on the edge of the tub, fiddling with his phone as he thinks on if there's anyone he could talk to about this. Instead he goes to google and types in 'how to tell if someone likes you as more than a friend?'
He sits and scrolls for a bit through lists that don't help at all. Touching? Smiling? Laughing Seriously? Yeah, Yoosung's done all of that, but so had his first crush and that... had not been what he thought at all.
He's about to put his phone away when he sees a new notification on Libra. A new post. Maybe someone new has joined and he can distract himself for a minute? He opens it up, eyes widening a bit. A how do you know if someone is flirting post!
He hesitates a moment before opening it to give it a look. He scans a few answers but most seem to be advice on how to flirt back. Then he reaches one by user "Beekeeper".
Praise. Compliments. Gentle touches to the face and hands. He thinks of that moment in his dream. Yoosung wiping his tears. And calling him prince. Of Yoosung always taking his hand. Of all the praise and compliments Yoosung heaps on him.
Maybe... he just came on too strong and made Yoosung nervous? Or maybe Yoosung hadn't expected him to flirt back?? Whatever the case... Katsuki really likes him. So...
Mind made up, he pockets his phone, gathers the pieces to his costume and steps out of the bathroom. He moves to sit it on the coffee table, placing the boots on the floor beside it.]
Ever had omurice?
[He doesn't know how to do this. But he's nothing if not determined? If he's gonna do something, he's gonna give it one-hundred percent. If Yoosung doesn't like him back, then Katsuki just... needs to give his all to try to change that.]
cw self-harm thoughts???? Yoosung's a dumbass I'm sorry
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1/2
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Cw: talk of reckless behavior and a near-stabbing
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