[There's that pleasant swoop of his stomach again and the fact that this time it's caused by Katsuki grinning and bullying him just confirms to Yoosung that he is, in fact, maybe a little fucked up. His only relief is the knowledge that masochist is a term that exists so he must not be the only one in existence.]
[One of these days, Yoosung might be able to figure out when Katsuki is fucking with him. Maybe. But Katsuki sure does enjoy his reactions.
Looking up at him so earnestly, asking what he wants. Katsuki can think of several answers to that...
He lets it hang like he's considering what he wants. Red eyes locked with purple. And there's no denying he's enjoying this. Having fun dangling the journal just out of reach.]
What I want?
[He leans closer, grin unfaltering. Closer. Closer. Playing a dangerous game and he knows it. Then he's plopping the journal down atop Yoosung's head and stepping back.]
[Considering Yoosung is probably about the most gullible person in existence, him figuring out when Katsuki is just messing with him is always a toss up. Sometimes he knows and playing along is fun! Sometimes he's really not sure whether Katsuki plans to follow through and poke even more fun at him. Either way, it's relatively harmless. If he truly minded, he would stand up for himself. If he minded, Katsuki would absolutely know it without a doubt.
As it is, these little games are... Enjoyable? Yeah. He enjoys the teasing. Bullying is probably too strong of a word for it, all things considered. But it's definitely teasing.
Katsuki looking at him like he's considering his options, then leaning in closer and closer, it practically makes Yoosung's heart stop.
He actually gasps out loud when Katsuki drops the journal on his head, giving him an order and topping it off by calling him Bright Eyes again. He feels weak in the knees, dizzy for a moment there and it takes the journal falling off his head and into his hands for him to come out of it.
His face flushes, and he finally grins, and gives a little laugh.]
Yeah... Okay! I'll do what oppa says~!
[He jokes with a sweet lilt to his voice, placing the journal down on the counter before moving to grab his apron from the pantry door, giving his skirt a purposeful little swish as he does.
Yes he's absolutely going to cook in the cheerleader outfit.]
[Katsuki doesn't know what 'Oppa' is. He's not about to google it in the kitchen in front of Yoosung. He'll look it up later.
For now he starts taking stock of what they have available. Taking out everything they need. Vegetables, chicken and the things they'll need for the sauce. While Yoosung is chopping vegetables, Katsuki is going to mix up the sauce.
The two of them standing in the kitchen working together to cook a meal. Once everything is set up and they can start he grins at Yoosung, starting to add ingredients to the bowl as he challenges;]
[The fact that doesn't get any sort of reaction out of Katsuki absolutely already tells Yoosung he has no idea what it means or any of the cultural background or societal implications behind the way he said it. (Which is fair. Yoosung's Korean American and mostly only knows about it because of kpop and kdramas.) But he does wonder if Katsuki will care enough to look it up later.
Yoosung has just gotten set with some of the vegetables on a cutting board and picks up the knife, ready to hum as he works when he hears that from Katsuki and frowns, looking over at him.]
Eh? Somehow I don't think it's possible for me to impress Katsuki in anything!
[He laughs a little, before turning back to his work and getting started at his own pace, planning to just enjoy what he's doing. He knows how, but he cooks for fun and not for challenge or anything.]
[Yoosung immediately stops chopping, hand frozen as he's just... Stunned, momentarily, by that information.
He's trying hard not to tear up, but... One or two escape, that he quickly wipes away with his clean apron. At least he's not sobbing?]
...there wasn't really an option.
[Another shrug, and a little laugh, like he can keep doing that and make everything seem super casual so long as he laughs about it. Even if he has to wipe tears away.]
Dunno if I could have done it. Just stand back up and keep going. Keep dealing with the thing that kiled me? It's been a long ass time since I died and I still can't shake it.
[He taste-tests the sauce. Just. Casually having this little heart to heart while they cook.]
[He'd really been hoping that he could shift the conversation by admitting how impressive he found literally all of Katsuki, but...
They're still talking about death.
If he was a better person he could do this. He could ask Katsuki how he died, have this talk about it or whatever but... This is too scary. His own death, Katsuki's death... He's too much of a coward to do this!
Suddenly he's hit with visions of a funeral, of being too emotional, and angry, of making everyone uncomfortable, wondering why everyone else wasn't as upset as he was and did they not really love Rika like they claimed to?
When the vision fades he's already full-on crying and he has to back away from the vegetables and turn to run down the hallway.]
[He can tell he's mistepped even before Yoosung starts crying. Guilt hits him like a truck. He did just kind of... hit Yoosung with a heavy conversation topic. He stands there, watching Yoosung run from the room.
It takes him a moment to decide what to do. He sits the mixing bowl down on the counter and hesitantly makes his way down the hall to check on him. It's possible Yoosung will want to be alone right now. But Katsuki can't just ignore him or leave him. So he follows. Stopping at the bedroom doorway, not crossing the threshold. Not without invitation.]
Hey...
[He... scrambles for the words.]
If you need some space, I can go finish cooking by myself. And you can join me when you're ready.
[He will sleep on the couch again if he has to. Just to be close if Yoosung needs him. He did cause this after all.]
But if you need someone to cry on, my shirt is super absorbent so...
[A little something lighthearted while he's being serious in his offer.]
[It's funny because just a week or so ago he was apparently all ready to die (repeatedly, even!) in the name of being helpful? And last month he was easily making jokes about dying on a roller coaster?
And now here he is, crying on his bed because he had to think for two seconds about Katsuki dying and recalling his own death and then having visions about the death of someone he's never even met! He feels a little crazy, to be honest. He isn't sure what's going on with himself and that's just another scary thing to add to the pile.
He looks up when he hears Katsuki in the doorway, and his heart skips a beat at the fact that he'd followed him. That he's making an offer of giving Yoosung whatever he needs in this moment: space or comfort. It takes his breath away.]
Katsuki... I... You...
[He takes in a shaky breath, then holds his hand out towards his friend, silently asking him to... To come closer? To hold his hand? Something.]
[Katsuki steps through the doorway, moving to sit on the bed beside Yoosung. Taking the hand that's reaching out to him.]
I'm not too good with the comfort shit. With having the right words or whatever? But you can cry as much as you need and I can sit here and hold your hand.
[He's already said the right words, really. Just knowing that Katsuki is willing to do this for him even though he feels like it's not something he's good at? It just... It all means a lot. He feels like his heart could burst with how much he's feeling, how much affection for Katsuki. He could kiss him except it doesn't feel like the right time, and he doesn't want to ruin everything. The point is the feeling still exists, sitting there weighing heavy on his chest.]
Thank you. [A sniffle escapes as he looks down at their clasped hands.] I'm sorry I reacted how I did, and ran away from you...
[This is becoming a reoccurring thing for them. Holding hands. Katsuki likes it. He wishes it could happen under better circumstances than him taking it as a challenge or Yoosung seeking comfort. But... it's nice?]
Hit you with something heavy that you weren't ready for.
[Yoosung reacted so much bigger to this stuff than he was used to. He's only really discussed his actual death with two people and both handled it a lot differently. He's not sure Yoosung can handle the full story. How it happened. How young he'd been. He might not ever be able to share this part of him.]
I'm... I'm still having trouble with all of this, because my life was so simple before Libra, you know? And now it's not... But... I want to know more about you, Katsuki. I just, um... I need this--
[He gives their hands a little squeeze, and leans a little against Katsuki's side if he'll let him.]
I need this. So that I know... You're here. You're still here, we're both still here and...
[He trails off, a little frustrated because he doesn't know how to put it, but...]
Can you tell me while we're close, so I don't feel so much like the world is ending?
[He lets Yoosung lean on him. This is another pretty common occurrence. Yoosung is so... in his personal space all the time. And maybe Katsuki should have realized sooner how okay with that he is?
He thinks about what Yoosung is saying and then guides his hand, bringing it to his chest. The left side, where Yoosung will be able to feel the steady beat of his heart. He questions if that's too intimate. But... he wants Yoosung to feel grounded. Reassured.]
[Maybe it is pretty intimate, but it brings Yoosung back to when he'd woke up disoriented and panicking and Katsuki was there. He'd put his hand on his chest then without Katsuki doing it for him, and had regulated his breathing by trying to match it to his.
Now he's got his heartbeat under his palm, and if he could he'd match his own to that too. Thinking about it helps, anyway.
He closes his eyes for a moment. Breathes deep, in and out. Then looks up at Katsuki.]
[God, Yoosung's eyes are stupidly pretty... Katsuki has to look away because if he stares at them he won't be able to focus.]
I don't really remember how old I was when it happened. I kmow I can't really remember a time when I didn't have the kitsune with me. I don't think I was in school yet. So maybe... four or five?
[He idly runs his fingers over the back of Yoosung's hand. Still keeping his over Yoosung's.]
I was out playing around in the woods. Trying to catch tadpoles. Wanted to bring them to a friend who was sick... but I fell in.
[Drowned. The details are a little hazy but... he remembers the voice. The question. Did he want to live?]
The kitsune decided to offer me a second chance. And I took it.
[And that's... it, really.]
Still don't know how to swim. Can't bring myself to try.
[Yoosung watches Katsuki intently as he speaks, briefly and unintentionally pressing his fingers harder against Katsuki's chest when he says "I fell in."
He's tearing up again, and he puts his cheek against Katsuki's shoulder, breathing in.]
I don't blame you... That's really scary, but... I'm... I'm also really glad that you're still here. And if... I dunno how all this possession stuff works exactly, but if your kitsune ever needs anything else, that I can give...
[He shifts so that his lips are at Katsuki's shoulder instead, practically burying his face there as he whispers:]
[Hello, heart, you sure are giving him a hard time lately. Yoosung's fingers curling towards his chest, pressing harder. His face pressed to Katsuki's shoulder. His tears on Katsuki's behalf. His offer. It all just...]
And you think you're not impressive...
[He chuckles, watery, turns his head so he can nuzzle his nose into Yoosung's hair a little. Stupidly intimate. He's known this person... about a month? And they've just clicked. And it's terrifying. But also comforting?]
[Ah... That response, especially coming from Katsuki... It feels good and makes his heart ache all at once. He definitely didn't say it to be impressive, but... Somehow it did impress Katsuki, and the knowledge of that means the absolute world.
And then Katsuki nuzzles into his hair and he makes an almost pained noise, unable to help it, his heart aching with emotion.]
Y.. yeah... I'll go with you. After all, who else will you boss around to chop the vegetables? Rika?
[There's a nearly manic but short-lived giggle there. But he still doesn't really want to move.]
[The joke makes him chuckle, more relief than anything. He's good. Yoosung's good. They're both good.]
Hey, maybe she has a secret talent for chopping things.
[He's still holding onto Yoosung's hand, which is still against his chest. And somehow knowing that Yoosung can feel his heart beating makes him feel more certain that he's alive. Honestly speaking he's had a lot of moments of uncertainty there. Questioning if he was really alive. But he feels alive right now. So he likewise doesn't want to move.
After a few seconds he gives Yoosung's hand a squeeze and hesitantly guides it away before letting go.]
C'mon. I'm gonna teach you how to flip food in a wok.
[He says quietly half just thinking out loud though partially his mind is still stuck on their hands and Katsuki's heartbeat.
Eventually Katsuki gives his hand one last squeeze and releases it, and Yoosung sighs softly, only a little in disappointment but mostly in... Contentment? This all feels really nice. And right. Like they're right where they're supposed to be. Together.
His smile brightens, eyes lighting up at Katsuki's words as he stands up from the bed.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I.. W...what do you want? Money? A.. a favor?
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Looking up at him so earnestly, asking what he wants. Katsuki can think of several answers to that...
He lets it hang like he's considering what he wants. Red eyes locked with purple. And there's no denying he's enjoying this. Having fun dangling the journal just out of reach.]
What I want?
[He leans closer, grin unfaltering. Closer. Closer. Playing a dangerous game and he knows it. Then he's plopping the journal down atop Yoosung's head and stepping back.]
Chop the vegetables, Bright Eyes.
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As it is, these little games are... Enjoyable? Yeah. He enjoys the teasing. Bullying is probably too strong of a word for it, all things considered. But it's definitely teasing.
Katsuki looking at him like he's considering his options, then leaning in closer and closer, it practically makes Yoosung's heart stop.
He actually gasps out loud when Katsuki drops the journal on his head, giving him an order and topping it off by calling him Bright Eyes again. He feels weak in the knees, dizzy for a moment there and it takes the journal falling off his head and into his hands for him to come out of it.
His face flushes, and he finally grins, and gives a little laugh.]
Yeah... Okay! I'll do what oppa says~!
[He jokes with a sweet lilt to his voice, placing the journal down on the counter before moving to grab his apron from the pantry door, giving his skirt a purposeful little swish as he does.
Yes he's absolutely going to cook in the cheerleader outfit.]
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For now he starts taking stock of what they have available. Taking out everything they need. Vegetables, chicken and the things they'll need for the sauce. While Yoosung is chopping vegetables, Katsuki is going to mix up the sauce.
The two of them standing in the kitchen working together to cook a meal. Once everything is set up and they can start he grins at Yoosung, starting to add ingredients to the bowl as he challenges;]
Alright, let's see your knife work. Impress me.
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Yoosung has just gotten set with some of the vegetables on a cutting board and picks up the knife, ready to hum as he works when he hears that from Katsuki and frowns, looking over at him.]
Eh? Somehow I don't think it's possible for me to impress Katsuki in anything!
[He laughs a little, before turning back to his work and getting started at his own pace, planning to just enjoy what he's doing. He knows how, but he cooks for fun and not for challenge or anything.]
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How do you know you haven't? I keep coming around don't I?
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[He gives a little shrug, but he's still wearing a small smile.]
You don't have to be impressed by someone to enjoy their company though, right? Like... I know you have fun teasing me, because you've said so!
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[And maybe Yoosung thinks that's all this is to him. All Yoosung is to him. He stirs the sauce up, not looking at him as he reveals;]
I thought is was impressive that you went to help with the evacuation right after you came back to life.
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He's trying hard not to tear up, but... One or two escape, that he quickly wipes away with his clean apron. At least he's not sobbing?]
...there wasn't really an option.
[Another shrug, and a little laugh, like he can keep doing that and make everything seem super casual so long as he laughs about it. Even if he has to wipe tears away.]
I... I think everything you do is impressive.
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Dunno if I could have done it. Just stand back up and keep going. Keep dealing with the thing that kiled me? It's been a long ass time since I died and I still can't shake it.
[He taste-tests the sauce. Just. Casually having this little heart to heart while they cook.]
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They're still talking about death.
If he was a better person he could do this. He could ask Katsuki how he died, have this talk about it or whatever but... This is too scary. His own death, Katsuki's death... He's too much of a coward to do this!
Suddenly he's hit with visions of a funeral, of being too emotional, and angry, of making everyone uncomfortable, wondering why everyone else wasn't as upset as he was and did they not really love Rika like they claimed to?
When the vision fades he's already full-on crying and he has to back away from the vegetables and turn to run down the hallway.]
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It takes him a moment to decide what to do. He sits the mixing bowl down on the counter and hesitantly makes his way down the hall to check on him. It's possible Yoosung will want to be alone right now. But Katsuki can't just ignore him or leave him. So he follows. Stopping at the bedroom doorway, not crossing the threshold. Not without invitation.]
Hey...
[He... scrambles for the words.]
If you need some space, I can go finish cooking by myself. And you can join me when you're ready.
[He will sleep on the couch again if he has to. Just to be close if Yoosung needs him. He did cause this after all.]
But if you need someone to cry on, my shirt is super absorbent so...
[A little something lighthearted while he's being serious in his offer.]
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And now here he is, crying on his bed because he had to think for two seconds about Katsuki dying and recalling his own death and then having visions about the death of someone he's never even met! He feels a little crazy, to be honest. He isn't sure what's going on with himself and that's just another scary thing to add to the pile.
He looks up when he hears Katsuki in the doorway, and his heart skips a beat at the fact that he'd followed him. That he's making an offer of giving Yoosung whatever he needs in this moment: space or comfort. It takes his breath away.]
Katsuki... I... You...
[He takes in a shaky breath, then holds his hand out towards his friend, silently asking him to... To come closer? To hold his hand? Something.]
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I'm not too good with the comfort shit. With having the right words or whatever? But you can cry as much as you need and I can sit here and hold your hand.
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Thank you. [A sniffle escapes as he looks down at their clasped hands.] I'm sorry I reacted how I did, and ran away from you...
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Hit you with something heavy that you weren't ready for.
[Yoosung reacted so much bigger to this stuff than he was used to. He's only really discussed his actual death with two people and both handled it a lot differently. He's not sure Yoosung can handle the full story. How it happened. How young he'd been. He might not ever be able to share this part of him.]
We don't have to talk about it.
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[He gives their hands a little squeeze, and leans a little against Katsuki's side if he'll let him.]
I need this. So that I know... You're here. You're still here, we're both still here and...
[He trails off, a little frustrated because he doesn't know how to put it, but...]
Can you tell me while we're close, so I don't feel so much like the world is ending?
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He thinks about what Yoosung is saying and then guides his hand, bringing it to his chest. The left side, where Yoosung will be able to feel the steady beat of his heart. He questions if that's too intimate. But... he wants Yoosung to feel grounded. Reassured.]
You sure?
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Now he's got his heartbeat under his palm, and if he could he'd match his own to that too. Thinking about it helps, anyway.
He closes his eyes for a moment. Breathes deep, in and out. Then looks up at Katsuki.]
I'm sure. Please tell me?
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I don't really remember how old I was when it happened. I kmow I can't really remember a time when I didn't have the kitsune with me. I don't think I was in school yet. So maybe... four or five?
[He idly runs his fingers over the back of Yoosung's hand. Still keeping his over Yoosung's.]
I was out playing around in the woods. Trying to catch tadpoles. Wanted to bring them to a friend who was sick... but I fell in.
[Drowned. The details are a little hazy but... he remembers the voice. The question. Did he want to live?]
The kitsune decided to offer me a second chance. And I took it.
[And that's... it, really.]
Still don't know how to swim. Can't bring myself to try.
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He's tearing up again, and he puts his cheek against Katsuki's shoulder, breathing in.]
I don't blame you... That's really scary, but... I'm... I'm also really glad that you're still here. And if... I dunno how all this possession stuff works exactly, but if your kitsune ever needs anything else, that I can give...
[He shifts so that his lips are at Katsuki's shoulder instead, practically burying his face there as he whispers:]
I'll do it. I'd do it.
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And you think you're not impressive...
[He chuckles, watery, turns his head so he can nuzzle his nose into Yoosung's hair a little. Stupidly intimate. He's known this person... about a month? And they've just clicked. And it's terrifying. But also comforting?]
...I should finish dinner. In a few minutes.
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And then Katsuki nuzzles into his hair and he makes an almost pained noise, unable to help it, his heart aching with emotion.]
Y.. yeah... I'll go with you. After all, who else will you boss around to chop the vegetables? Rika?
[There's a nearly manic but short-lived giggle there. But he still doesn't really want to move.]
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Hey, maybe she has a secret talent for chopping things.
[He's still holding onto Yoosung's hand, which is still against his chest. And somehow knowing that Yoosung can feel his heart beating makes him feel more certain that he's alive. Honestly speaking he's had a lot of moments of uncertainty there. Questioning if he was really alive. But he feels alive right now. So he likewise doesn't want to move.
After a few seconds he gives Yoosung's hand a squeeze and hesitantly guides it away before letting go.]
C'mon. I'm gonna teach you how to flip food in a wok.
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[He says quietly half just thinking out loud though partially his mind is still stuck on their hands and Katsuki's heartbeat.
Eventually Katsuki gives his hand one last squeeze and releases it, and Yoosung sighs softly, only a little in disappointment but mostly in... Contentment? This all feels really nice. And right. Like they're right where they're supposed to be. Together.
His smile brightens, eyes lighting up at Katsuki's words as he stands up from the bed.]
Yeah! I'll be careful not to drop anything~
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