[Oh, well, yup, definitely more nerve endings there, more than there usually are on his admittedly already somewhat sensitive back. (Who are we kidding, all of him is sensitive and ticklish.)
He squirms lightly, breath picking up for a moment before he nods, concentrating as he folds and then stretches the wings, first both together and then one followed by the other.]
It's like... Having another pair of arms... Only on my back...?
[If Katsuki is waiting for Yoosung to tell him to stop, that moment might never come. He's really enjoying the fact that Katsuki is so fascinated with these sudden wings, that he's essentially petting him.
He's blushing hard now, especially at Katsuki's wondering. He can't very well say "because I got excited being dropped to the mat by you."]
[Yoosung's eyes widen at that. Did Katsuki just come to the same conclusion that he did?]
Y-you think so too? M... Maybe I am. Maybe that's how I-- Oh!!
[He hurries over to his bag suddenly, tripping on the way over and falling to his knees but it's fine, there's the mat, he's fine. He ignores the fact he's on his knees now and opens his bag to pull out his ARCUS.]
The stone!! The glowing stone in here has a symbol of wings and a halo!
[Yoosung nods, handing over the device and watching Katsuki as his wings fold again behind him.]
Well, Jun and Rhel thought this was how I came back to life, too, so... It would make sense maybe that it's all connected?
[Another realization.]
Ah, but... I didn't have it on me when the wings appeared, and I have to in order to make the balls of light...
[And probably to come back to life, too.
It occurs to him then that while he can't control that power, maybe he can control the wings in more than just opening and closing them?
Closing his eyes, he focuses with them folded, thinking about folding them even further into himself... And they do, in fact, disappear, leaving only a few feathers on the ground and his ripped top as evidence they were even there.]
[Probably Yoosung should have predicted that Katsuki would touch his back, considering he's been surprisingly handsy already today, but... The feeling still catches him off-guard and knocks the air out of his lungs as he visibly shivers. Is his back more sensitive now even without the wings out?]
Ah... I... I think my back might be more... more sens-- ticklish? Than it was before, though... Maybe?
[The only reason he's not entirely sure is because he doesn't often have people touching his bare back, palm to skin.]
[Katsuki rolls on his side to look at him. He understands exactly what Yoosung means. Exactly what he's feeling.
But there was one thing that made him feel a little more certain he's alive. When Yoosung was feeling his heart beat. When someone else could feel the proof he was alive.
So after a moment he reaches out to rest his palm on the left of Yoosung's chest.]
You're warm. You're breathing. I can feel your heart beating. You seem alive to me.
[Oh god. Well, Katsuki can probably also feel Yoosung's heart beat and breathing picking up a little, from the proximity and the inherent romanticism of this touch, of feeling his heart.
Yoosung is staring for a minute, wide-eyed.
Correction: he was alive, but Katsuki is killing him.]
I... Maybe that's just because I'm with you...
[No he will not explain that, no further questions will be taken at this time, thank you.]
[He huffs out a little confused laugh. What does that even mean?]
You say weird shit sometimes.
[He moves his hand, wondering if maybe he did something weird? He should explain.]
I get what you mean. That feeling of... am I really alive? Or am I just... somewhere in between? But when you were feeling my heart beat I felt like... I dunno. If someone else can feel it then I'm probably alive, right?
[At least Katsuki doesn't ask Yoosung what he means. He can just think it's weird. That's fine.
For a second Yoosung wants to hold Katsuki's hand where he'd put it to make sure he doesn't pull it away, but he can't bring himself to do it.
He remembers what Katsuki is talking about, how Yoosung had needed to feel Katsuki's heartbeat while he told him about how he died and got possessed. It's sweet, that Katsuki not only remembers that but also is using that to try and help Yoosung in turn.]
Thanks... It.. it does help, but...
[He shifts, dropping his phone on the mat so he can turn on his side, facing Katsuki. He wishes they were still touching.]
I dunno, I just... I'm starting to feel like I'm not even human anymore... Like I'm becoming something else...
[Yoosung looks genuinely confused for a moment, trying to figure out what Katsuki thinks he is if he's not human...? He must mean his kitsune, but Yoosung somehow thought of that as an entity he had to share stuff with, not that Katsuki himself wasn't human anymore. Obviously Katsuki thought of it differently though, and that's more important than any way that Yoosung had interpreted it.]
Mm. You're right. It's just still all new to me so I... I don't know what's happening or what to expect, how much I'm going to change, what will change and when and how... so I guess... That's really the scary part...
[He doesn't even have an entity telling him how everything is going to work, what the deal is. (If that's what even happens during possession, truthfully he doesn't know all that much about it other than what Jun and Katsuki have shared.)
This? It's... It's all guesses. It's all unknown.]
Mm... I can't say how things will go for you. People handle things differently. It took me a long time to even be as comfortable as I am now and I think I still have a way to go.
[He absently reaches out to touch Yoosung's hand because that always seems to be Yoosung's go-to in these moments. Physical contact. Hand touches.]
But I also kind of pushed it down and didn't acknowledge it until I met someone else who was like me. I've made a lot of progress since I started addressing everything. It's still fresh for you.
[The touch of Katsuki's hand makes him feel warm, and stable... More normal. It's almost more grounding than the hand to his heart? Maybe that's because Yoosung gets to touch back this way, if Katsuki allows it. He shifts his hand to lightly touch the tips of his fingers to Katsuki's.]
It is. I just... Realized I'm really lucky, though, actually... Because I already have someone else who understands. So... I won't be alone in this... Right?
[There he goes with the touching back. Katsuki called it. He lets Yoosung do as he likes, their fingers brushing together. Just kind of absently on Katsuki's end. He likes that Yoosung is so touchy because he can get away with stuff like this.]
Yeah. That's true. I don't mind talking it out with you. And I'd have to be sure it's cool with them, but I know others. If you decide you need more support.
[Katsuki always seems to manage to do this without even trying, pulling at his heart by being so sweet, whether he knows it or not. He knows Katsuki doesn't think he's sweet, but he's always making nice gestures for Yoosung.
He's also really liking just brushing their fingers together. Such small, light contact, but it's making his stomach swoop pleasantly inside of him.]
...thank you. Um... Maybe for right now, we can keep it between us? I-I'll let you know if I wanna talk to more people, okay?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Can you move them?
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He squirms lightly, breath picking up for a moment before he nods, concentrating as he folds and then stretches the wings, first both together and then one followed by the other.]
It's like... Having another pair of arms... Only on my back...?
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Pretty cool.
[He can't help but run his hand over the soft feathers again. They're so pretty and he's never seen wings this up close before.]
Wonder why they suddenly appeared...
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He's blushing hard now, especially at Katsuki's wondering. He can't very well say "because I got excited being dropped to the mat by you."]
M-maybe because I was falling...?
[Look that could also be a possibility!!]
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Maybe you're turning into a bird.
[Although...]
They kind of make me think of those pictures people draw of angels.
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Y-you think so too? M... Maybe I am. Maybe that's how I-- Oh!!
[He hurries over to his bag suddenly, tripping on the way over and falling to his knees but it's fine, there's the mat, he's fine. He ignores the fact he's on his knees now and opens his bag to pull out his ARCUS.]
The stone!! The glowing stone in here has a symbol of wings and a halo!
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You think it's because of this?
[He's thinking some effect of it. Not... that it's because of the dying and coming back.]
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Well, Jun and Rhel thought this was how I came back to life, too, so... It would make sense maybe that it's all connected?
[Another realization.]
Ah, but... I didn't have it on me when the wings appeared, and I have to in order to make the balls of light...
[And probably to come back to life, too.
It occurs to him then that while he can't control that power, maybe he can control the wings in more than just opening and closing them?
Closing his eyes, he focuses with them folded, thinking about folding them even further into himself... And they do, in fact, disappear, leaving only a few feathers on the ground and his ripped top as evidence they were even there.]
Ah...?!
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Let me see.
[Once Yoosung turns around, Katsuki investigates. His hand brushing over his back. Checking for any sign of the wings.]
Huh. Nothing. It's like they were never there.
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Ah... I... I think my back might be more... more sens-- ticklish? Than it was before, though... Maybe?
[The only reason he's not entirely sure is because he doesn't often have people touching his bare back, palm to skin.]
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[He makes like he's going to but doesn't. Instead he flops back on the mat for the moment. Taking a break.]
Well, whatever is going on, you'll have to watch it or you'll destroy all your shirts.
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He takes his phone back to look it over himself, and gives a little, half-hearted laugh at what Katsuki says.]
Yeah... Maybe I should just start wearing backless shirts... Might get kinda cold in the winter, though.
[He traces the glowing stone in his device with his thumb, thinking.]
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[A little light teasing. But he's watching Yoosung. That little laugh sounded off... and he looks thoughtful about something.]
You good?
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[He plops back on the mat next to Katsuki, lying next to him, dropping his phone onto his chest as he sighs.]
Am I still dead?
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But there was one thing that made him feel a little more certain he's alive. When Yoosung was feeling his heart beat. When someone else could feel the proof he was alive.
So after a moment he reaches out to rest his palm on the left of Yoosung's chest.]
You're warm. You're breathing. I can feel your heart beating. You seem alive to me.
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Yoosung is staring for a minute, wide-eyed.
Correction: he was alive, but Katsuki is killing him.]
I... Maybe that's just because I'm with you...
[No he will not explain that, no further questions will be taken at this time, thank you.]
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You say weird shit sometimes.
[He moves his hand, wondering if maybe he did something weird? He should explain.]
I get what you mean. That feeling of... am I really alive? Or am I just... somewhere in between? But when you were feeling my heart beat I felt like... I dunno. If someone else can feel it then I'm probably alive, right?
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For a second Yoosung wants to hold Katsuki's hand where he'd put it to make sure he doesn't pull it away, but he can't bring himself to do it.
He remembers what Katsuki is talking about, how Yoosung had needed to feel Katsuki's heartbeat while he told him about how he died and got possessed. It's sweet, that Katsuki not only remembers that but also is using that to try and help Yoosung in turn.]
Thanks... It.. it does help, but...
[He shifts, dropping his phone on the mat so he can turn on his side, facing Katsuki. He wishes they were still touching.]
I dunno, I just... I'm starting to feel like I'm not even human anymore... Like I'm becoming something else...
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It's not so bad, y'know? Being 'something else'.
[He used to feel pretty unsure about it. But then Jun told him he was glad the kitsune saved him...]
We're still here. I'm grateful for that.
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Mm. You're right. It's just still all new to me so I... I don't know what's happening or what to expect, how much I'm going to change, what will change and when and how... so I guess... That's really the scary part...
[He doesn't even have an entity telling him how everything is going to work, what the deal is. (If that's what even happens during possession, truthfully he doesn't know all that much about it other than what Jun and Katsuki have shared.)
This? It's... It's all guesses. It's all unknown.]
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[He absently reaches out to touch Yoosung's hand because that always seems to be Yoosung's go-to in these moments. Physical contact. Hand touches.]
But I also kind of pushed it down and didn't acknowledge it until I met someone else who was like me. I've made a lot of progress since I started addressing everything. It's still fresh for you.
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It is. I just... Realized I'm really lucky, though, actually... Because I already have someone else who understands. So... I won't be alone in this... Right?
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Yeah. That's true. I don't mind talking it out with you. And I'd have to be sure it's cool with them, but I know others. If you decide you need more support.
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He's also really liking just brushing their fingers together. Such small, light contact, but it's making his stomach swoop pleasantly inside of him.]
...thank you. Um... Maybe for right now, we can keep it between us? I-I'll let you know if I wanna talk to more people, okay?
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[He gets that it's personal. He isn't about to share Yoosung's secrets. He sits up slowly.]
You good to keep going or should we call it a day?
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